I remember this day well. Lasagna for the hunters. I think you like this picture.
It’s been more than 9 weeks now since your surgery. I miss you so much. I have come to see you and I don’t know if you remember that I was there. The doctors don’t know what went wrong and they don’t know how to fix you. Your seizures are gone now but so are you. We don’t understand and keep praying for your recovery Sue. I miss you! I miss you. I don’t know how to feel except to hope.
I have come to find it so hard to write to you Sis. I think of you so often. Hourly, daily. I am filled with worry. It’s not right. It’s not Godly. It’s not productive in any way. No matter how many times I say I trust God in this, I fall back into worry. What do I pray anymore? The same things. Over and over! I have no affect in your situation. I ask why and how long. How could this happen when you should have only had relief? ! I’m angry because I’m forced to miss you. No sister talks. No lifting each other up when we are down.
So. I,I,I. This shouldn’t be about me! I feel guilty. This is about you and everyone that loves you and misses you. Oh Sue… you are still my hero. You have found strength at your weakest. I want that for you now and pray it. You’ve always been my big Sister and I’ve always looked up to you as the smart and logical one. You love without condition and give freely when someone is in need or not. You carry your burdens close and privately feeling that someone out there has it worse. I feel that too but I can share those things with you and you share with me. Not only the hard stuff but the great stuff too.
I have chosen to believe that God will use your circumstances for His Glory and pray that everyone who sees you or comes in contact with you will see God’s light in you. I know that’s not practical but I’m talking about GOD here. The creator of the universe.
Oh how happy I am that I’ve been able to talk with you on the phone. You called a couple days ago and we talked for about 5 minutes. You know I have never been the talker. Not that nothing is happening in my life. I’ve just never been that way. Usually you have so much to talk about and I love hearing details of life and thoughts you have. I really miss that about you. But you are getting better and Tim is glad to be there for you.
One thing I know about you right now is that you don’t want to be treated differently. You would rather do things for yourself and move on with life. Be patient my dear Sis. You are getting there. I pray that you’ll be able to see that the steps you take to heal are just that. One step up at a time to where you want to be. We may be able to double step on a stair case but have you ever seen someone step up a whole flight in one long stride. No that would be impossible. In the same way healing your brain and body won’t happen in one giant stride.
I want to say all the right things to you Sis. Somehow I want to fix it. we all do. We love you so much. My only wish is to be a closer distance from each other.
Dear Father in heaven, thank you so very much for my sister. What a gift she is to me. I am so greatful that she is getting better. It has been, and is still, a long road ahead. I just can’t imagine the depth of her frustration. I know that you love her more that I do. She is your child. May I ask Lord, that You keep her safe and reveal Yourself to her and to those around her. And may You be Glorified.